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shayne

A million whites have left SA

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It is sad :cry: to see things go down the drain each time you go back to SA, I hope I can make the USA my new home.

They say home is where the heart is... My heart is my boys and where they are better off, there we will stay.

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True words Sam!

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Ditto Sam!!! Except in my case, replace "boys" with "boy" ;)

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John,

 

Beautifully written, and so very true. Sometimes the most obvious things are hard to swallow.

 

Dee

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Not to overstate a point, but also consider what I mentioned in an earlier posting ... much has changed in South Africa since we left ... but also we have been changed by living in America ...

 

Thanks John. That was very well stated, and I think reflects the general sentiment among us.

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I share you're feelings John. It's not easy to be away from all your family but if you add all the positives and negatives we are better of here.

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During our 10 years in the US, the topic of possibly going back to SA came up from time to time. Never very seriously, but more just a casual conversation. As with most of you, all our family are back there, and we are quite aware that our kids are growing up and having very little interaction with the rest of the family, especially the grandparents. We're also aware that our parents are getting older and certainly won't be around forever. These things still bother me a bit.

 

During a visit to SA in July, my family made no secret of the fact that they would love for us to come back. While we were painfully aware of how expensive SA had become (a negative), we had a wonderful time with our family. All the cousins got to know each other. It was one big feast! So, of course, the issue over whether we should go back came up again.

 

For now, we have decided not to do it, and here's why:

 

To uproot ourselves here and undo all that we have put in place over the past 10 years will be a mammoth task. We mostly understand how things work here. We have many South African and American friends here. The kids are settled in their schools and have their friends and activities that are important to them. In short, it won't be an easy departure!

 

Our first 6 months to a year (back in SA) being close to our family and seeing them regularly would be wonderful. But that "honeymoon" will end. Then the realities of life in SA will take its proper place. The potential of being a victim of crime will bother us and we'll probably live in fear behind 8-foot walls, burglar bars and metal gates. AA or BEE will affect us. I probably won't get a job, and if I do, there won't be much upward mobility. My kids will face quotas when it's time to go to university and then again when they have to find their own jobs (which may very well cause them to leave SA again). Then there is the impact of AIDS, which is another long story.

 

South Africans in South Africa are mostly used to all this stuff. Many may not like it, but they have come to accept it. There's this old story that says if you put a frog in a glass of hot water, the frog will jump out, but if you put the frog in cold water and slowly warm the water, the frog will stay in the water until the water eventually boils and the frog dies. South Africans who have lived in SA for the past 10 years that we have been away, have experienced small changes all the time and they have accepted them one by one and have gotten used to them all. We weren't in the water while it was slowly being warmed...

 

What will make it worse is that we will know that we came from a country without most of those problems, and we knew it before we left. We had seen the light... So we can really only blame ourselves.

 

So, tough as it might be to not see the family very often, we'll be staying here and will try to see the family as often as we can...

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Thanks, Dee.

 

Vision, yes, if you weigh up the positives vs. negatives from a logical point of view, we are certainly better off here. From an emotional point of view, the family in SA counts a lot, but then the welfare of our closest family, i.e. our spouse and kids, counts a little more. Also, as I said, the odds would be pretty good that my kids would leave SA when AA/BEE hits them. By staying here, I can spare them the hassle of having to go through what my wife and I had to.

 

Creature, I agree, we have all changed here too. We have become used to lots of good things here that we will surely miss if we had to go back. More importantly though, I think our outlook on life has changed. I think my outlook has opened up significantly. That may simply be as a result of me getting older and more life experience, but I do think that living here in the US has played a major role in that too.

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To me there was only 1 main, logical question to ask myself: What is my family's realistic future in SA when looking at having a real life and survival? :whome:

The answer: Not good at all :thumbdown: and survival, 1 in 50 possibility of getting killed daily. How do I determan this........ 50 murders per day and it can happen to ANYBODY. :thumbdown:

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